"I just hope that you miss me a little when i'm gone"

i wish you'd stop pushing away the people that care about you the most, shame you've lost one now.

I'm going to Paris in December, It will be beautiful, the gallery's, the shop windows, the food and drink, the architecture and the men. This trip is all that matters to me right now.

.x

“Nothing that is worth knowing can be taught."

Pretty sick of people pretending to be someone they're clearly not and this constant need people have to impress. Why, can't you just appreciate yourself for you as an individual and not crave this need to seek attention.
I'm always content when I'm 100% myself, to some extent we all make an effort I mean what would we live for?but it's just this attitude that life is one huge competition, it really isn't the only person you should ever seek to impress is yourself.


I'm starting to realise and you to maybe with my last couple of posts, that I need to think about myself for once. I care a ridiculous amount for others tending to put their feeling before my own, I've just grown tired of this because I never get back what I dish out. Mummy says "It's not about giving to receive" I know she's right, but if the feelings not mutual when caring, seriously what is the point? I haven't been put on this planet to get kicked to the curb I assure you.


So it's time to put me first for once, if you think it's selfish so be it, but you should know me well enough.
I've been given a huge puzzle and I'm just beginning to fit the pieces together. Things seem distant and blurry, but for once I like it.


I need to know people read this, actually comment on this when you've read it. Oh and I add everything always happens for a reason, just remember that
.x

"A change of heart"

Not really feeling a huge post just gunna say ceeeeeeeeeeb
Your main priority in life should be you, so it's  gunna be all about me, myself and I,  just the way it should be.


i really want a mac and a holiday and some new beautiful shoes. Don't tell me that was awful grammar, I already know
.x

"I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like"

emptiness and a loss of hope. that is all.
x

"Sometimes I feel like Alice, in a wonderland chasing rabbits, cheshire cats and mad hatters, a better world well it don't really matter"

I went as alice in wonderland to a fancy dress party last night but if I'm honest I wasn't just playing dress up. I'm living in my own fantasy land at the moment, I can't seem to escape but then I don't really want to.
x

"Time it was and what a time it was"

I'm sick and tired not sure what of but I can feel it in the pit of my stomach. I feel like nothings keeping me going any more. It's the final week and everyone's leaving for university, makes me feel pretty empty and with the new college and all I've never felt so alone and out of my comfort zone in my life. 


Tonight's my friends leaving party, You know I hate goodbyes, I've already said this. I just keep looking back on all the good memories and replaying them in my head like a flip book. I'm tempted to make one of these if I'm honest. The covie girls have now grown up and we've gone our separate ways, but I'll always love you girls no matter how far apart or come what may. It makes me cringe when people say "I love my friends, they are my life" but the friendship us 10 girls hold I've never seen in anyone that use's this line of  utter cheddar.


I should get myself ready for more alcohol, frolics and fun oh and tears.
Today I have reminisced ridiculous amounts, I love my memories with you and even if you don't remember them, I don't mind :)
.x


cant be dealing with copy cats.

"I am here to stay"

It's strange and I'm pretty sure I've been watching 500 days of summer to much but how do you know when someone's the one, I'm probably far to young to even to question this, that never stops me though.I believe everything is far to good to be true.

Everyone seems to have a commitment within a relationship these days, how many of these last and what happens when you eventually meet the dilemma of marriage? Most parents I know are separated and there is always tension in my house, with petty fights. So how do you know, seriously? Don't just give me the answer "you just know" that's crap, you don't.

Yet the one thing I do know is that, still after all this time you are everything to me.x

My parents treat me like a puppet, if you read this let me know please